Cultivating Deep Listening: Showing Up, Staying Curious, and Resisting Advice (CAL146, S8E11)
Deep listening is a foundational yet undervalued skill across all our supervision, leadership, and collaboration relationships. My motivation for this episode came from some recent workshops experiences, conversations with colleagues, and posts from others that have all highlighted the importance of listening in different ways. This is a multi-voice episode, weaving together insights from past conversations with Christian van Nieuwerburgh, Oscar Trimboli, and Michael Bungay Stanier. Together we explore how we can cultivate better listening.
Good listening starts with how we show up—our wellbeing, intention, and undivided attention—and practical preparation such as reducing notifications, hydrating, and breathing. Good listening then is a way of being, staying curious longer with open “what” questions, checking what support is wanted, and resisting “advice monsters” that push premature solutions. We also discuss the relational, developmental and productivity costs of poor listening, and I close with Oscar’s five levels of listening and Michael’s exhortation to stay curious a little longer. The invitation to you is to consider how you might practice deeper curiosity and presence for better listening where you are.
00:29 Why the Focus on Listening
05:36 Listening Starts with Listening to Ourselves
13:27 When the Content isn't the Real Content - Curiosity and Questions
18:05 Christian on Optimal Matching
20:58 Michael on our Advice Monsters
26:39 Michael on the Problem with Rushing to Advice
29:59 How We Ask a Question Matters
33:44 Relationship Costs of Poor Listening
42:52 Oscar's Five Levels of Listening
44:23 Wrapping Up
The Full Podcast Episodes:
Michael Bungay Stanier on the power of curiosity and taming your advice monster
RW8 Asking good questions, empowering good people
Oscar Trimboli (Part 1) on being better listeners (CAL61)
Oscar Trimboli (Part 2) on how to listen deeply (CAL62)
Christian van Nieuwerburgh on Bringing Back the Joy (CAL142, S8E7)
Related Links:
Uni of Glasgow Outstanding Catalyst Mentors – Padlet with testimonials (Kay Guccione)
Narelle Lemon, Deep Listening: Are You Being Helped, Hugged or Heard? Jun 9 2026
The Thriving PI Summit – free online event June 29-Jul 2 2026 – organized by Ana Pineda. Free registration.
